Yes, it’s true, a slacker am I. I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything, but when I have the time to write, I don’t seem to be in the mood and when I’m in the mood, I don’t have the time. Ah, such is life. So, following are several short stories of some events that have unfolded in the previous few weeks.
Bunny makes a new friend
While at work, diligently doing some manpower analysis and not watching youtube videos, I receive a frantic text from my wife explaining how she and the children are being terrorized by a flying cockroach. Eager to #1 have an excuse to leave work, although I didn’t tell them the specific reason, and #2 be a hero, how could I refuse to respond to the aid of my clan.
I arrive home and find my second oldest son with his hand in a slipper, slightly crouched and walking slowly in the house. My youngest son, if I remember correctly, was holding a Croc and running around. My second youngest was just running around terrified, and my middle son had some type of plastic hatchet or sword. My wife was in the bedroom with the door closed, my mother-in-law had arrived just prior to my arrival and was standing in the living room shaking her head. I asked the kids where they saw it last and of course I received four different answers. I grabbed a fly swatter, which by the way makes sound effects when you use it, and we searched the living room. We searched everywhere, I even moved furniture and we couldn’t find it. We conducted room by room searches of the house and found nothing. I advised my wife we couldn’t find it and she was not pleased that it was not found.
I spent enough time away from work on the bug safari, so I decided it was time to head back to work. I was in our living room, by the back door, and noticed the rabbit was drinking from his water bottle, well attempting to anyway, it looked empty. I figured I had enough time to fill the bottle, so I enter the screened in porch and grabbed it from his hutch. For the record, my rabbit lives in my screened-in porch, or what some people call a Florida room, but since I live in Florida doesn’t that make every room a Florida room? Anyway, as I’m pulling the water bottle out, I see movement by my feet. I jumped about three feet in the air and darted for the door, slamming it behind me. My kids are all staring at me and are like what is wrong with you. They already know I’m partially crazy, so not too many things I do surprise them. I told them to look outside the door onto the porch. They look, scream, and run away. A four foot snake decided to come visit the bunny, well he’s actually almost three years old, so he’s a pretty big rabbit. I knew it was a snake when I saw it, but we have poisonous ones here so that’s why I darted away quickly. Once I got in the house and looked, I realized it wasn’t poisonous; it was an eastern racer snake. I went out the other back door and propped the outer door to the porch open. I then entered the porch, from the door connected to my living room, and used a broom to shoo the snake out into the yard.
I then had a sternly worded conversation with Mr. Sniffles and told him he was not allowed to have any friends come over without prior permission.
With that all said and done, I went back to work.
Being an election year, it is hard not to hear more about politics than usual. Recently I heard about Mitt Romney’s remarks about the 47%
“There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…. These are people who pay no income tax. Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn’t connect. So he’ll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean, that’s what they sell every four years. And so my job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”
Now I do somewhat pay attention to politics, but I don’t usually get too involved however, this comment pissed me off.
We, as a country seem to be all about percentages lately and I know I’m in the 99%, because I’m not rich, I now know I’m in the 47% because I pay no income tax, and I’m also in the .045% of the population in the Active Duty military.
Due to being an atheist and not having a predisposition of dislike, or open hatred, of things that don’t agree with my religion, as many religious folks do, I’m probably a little more left leaning than right. I don’t actually align myself with any party; I registered as an independent when I registered to vote. There are things on both sides I like/dislike but I think it’d be great if a third more middle of the road party came into prominence. So what does this have to do with anything you ask? Well, let me tell you. I will not vote for a republican candidate for a long, long time. The reason being is because of the comment above. Yes only one person said it, but after listening to the platform of the GOP I would bet money that many, many more have the same mindset as Mitt Romney.
An open letter to Mr. Romney,
I have spent the last 19 years, 7 months and 3 weeks, serving this country as a volunteer in the United States Air Force. I have missed countless birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, celebrations and family events. I have missed many of my children’s firsts. First step, first tooth, first day of school, etc. I have been unable to attend funerals of loved ones and I truly believe my military service was one of the major factors that led to the divorce from my first wife. I have given myself to my service with everything I am, both physically and emotionally. I am forever scarred, both physically and emotionally, but yet I do not regret the decision I made in joining the Air Force. I am proud to be part of the very few people who volunteer to put their lives on the line for this country, something that you will never experience or can even begin to comprehend. Your recent comments are out of line and I cannot believe you think so lowly of the people of this country, the same people that I volunteered to sacrifice my life for so they may continue to live the life they know and enjoy the freedoms they have.
I want you to know that I am part of the 47%. My family receives federal aid in the form of the Women, Infants & Children program run by the USDA. Also for seven months, out of the past year, I paid zero income tax, but that was due to my deployment to Afghanistan. I receive earned income credit and often get back more than I paid in income tax. Sure the system is flawed, but for you to say that you’ll never convince me to take personal responsibility and care for my life, I have only one simple response. A response I wish I could word in a less coarse manner, but I have yet to find the appropriate words to truly express how I feel. So my simple response is, fuck you Mr. Romney. I implore you to please take your silver spoon and head back to whatever mansion you came from and please stay there. I just want you to know that I equate your comments to spitting in my face, the face of someone who has sacrificed nearly 20 years of their life for the sake of this country as a whole.
And that’s all I gotta say about that.
Days off and bodily fluids
So I decided to take a few days off of work so I can run my wife to some appointments on Wednesday and then pick up an iPhone 5 on Friday (more on that later). At 5:30am on my first day off I heard my three younger children talking about barf. My oldest son gets up early to meet his bus at 6:00am so it’s not uncommon that all the kids are up around this time. The youngest one came running into my room telling me that my 7 year old had thrown up and in doing so had gotten puke on my youngest son’s blankets. I got up to investigate and indeed sometime in the night, my 7 year old, threw up in his bed and since he’s in the top bunk was able to get a bunch over the edge onto his brother below and all over the floor. Apparently after doing so, he went back to sleep and rolled around in it. At 5:45am, I’m steam cleaning the carpet in the bedroom, not how I wanted to start my day!
Rest of the day was ok, until the evening. I’m outside feeding the rabbit and my youngest is at the door, crying. I ask him what is wrong and he says he needs a new shirt. I notice that the white shirt he’s wearing has brown streaks all over the place and ask him if his Mom gave him chocolate. He said no. In my mind, I’m just thinking “wonder what he got on his shirt and where he did this at so I can see if he made a bigger mess.” I must have been lost in thought when he supplied the answer to what was actually on his shirt, but when he said poop, I snapped back to reality and asked him “Did you just say poop is on your shirt?” I then look closer and notice that not only is poop on his shirt but it’s also on his shorts, legs, and on top of his foot (how does that even happen?!?). I asked him if the bathroom was a mess and he just nodded. I wanted to run away and never come back.
To the bathroom!
He managed to get poop on the floor, sink, toilet paper roll that wasn’t on the holder, the toilet paper roll on the holder, side of the toilet, and wall. I started the shower and had him remove his clothes and hop in while I cleaned the bathroom. I put his clothing in the washer, thankful for the sanitize setting on our LG washer, and went back to the bathroom and washed him.
The next day, my wife and I are at a Doctor’s appointment for her and the school called. My second oldest son had become ill while on his field trip and was lying down on a bench. We told them we would pick him up. The Doctor’s office was close to his field trip location so it didn’t take us too long to get there. Fortunately I didn’t have to see any bodily fluids that day.
I spent Friday and Saturday feeling sick, hmm, wonder why.
Monday, my 7 year old got the runs, and pooped on himself. I told him it was no big deal and had him go in the bathroom and get in the shower. If it was only once, it would have been no big deal, but he pooped himself twice more and then at 9:30pm he threw up in the bathroom. I had lots of laundry to do that day and I felt so bad for him. Poor guy. When I was cleaning up his puke, he heard me gagging and said “Sorry Daddy”. I told him that he didn’t need to apologize, it’s not his fault he got sick and I can help the gagging. I got his bed set up and he went to sleep.
Wednesday, I just had to go pick him up from school because he had diarrhea again. Poor boy, I hope he feels better soon.
By the way, I have a delicate stomach and certain odors cause me to gag. Of course, poop and puke are two of those odors. So while I’m cleaning all these messes up, I’m gagging the entire time. I am physically unable to throw up, so all I can do is gag up fluid, which becomes tainted with red from blood. Joy, guess I’ll have to get that checked out sometime. I’m tired of cleaning up bodily fluids.
I woke up to preorder my iPhone 5 on the 14th, but due to some complication with AT&T I was unable to complete an order. No big deal I thought, I’ll just go to the store super early on the 21st and wait. I woke up at 5am and checked the AT&T site and noticed they still had a shipping date of the 21st. Apparently their website was down for hours and people couldn’t get orders through. I placed my order with no problems.
A couple days later I’m checking on my order and notice it says back ordered. I converse with AT&T and they said my phone won’t ship until Oct 4th at the soonest. I was displeased! Ok, I’ll just cancel my preorder and go early on Friday. Well canceling a preorder could take 3-5 days to show in the system which means the system wouldn’t reflect I had an upgrade available so I can’t get the discount price. BS!! I was rather perturbed at this point. I am a gadget geek and have had every iPhone and I must have new shiny things, even though there is nothing wrong with my old things!
Wednesday rolls around and I check my order and it no longer says backordered. I began to get excited and when they sent me a shipping number I believed it was going to show up on Friday. I sat around Friday, eagerly anticipating its arrival and shortly before 1pm the FedEx truck arrived at my home. Just glad it all worked out and I received my new toy on time.